Video: “I’m a mother and bipolar”

After the birth, Pauline Jakubowski turned to a psychiatrist because she believed she was suffering from postpartum depression. Eventually, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which had many repercussions on her daily life as a new mom.

Parents: Can you introduce yourself?

Pauline: Hello, I’m Pauline, I’m 36 years old, I’m married with a 5.5 year old little girl, Edie, and I’m bipolar. the bipolarity is a mental illness affecting approximately 3% of the population, it’s a mood disorder. To explain it to you, we will have major depressive episodes followed by manic episodes where we feel like the king of the world. We are omnipotent if only we put ourselves in danger, and the higher we go, the higher we become, the lower we sink. It’s something that’s very difficult to manage but that we can try to control with medication and mood stabilizers.

Pauline: I was diagnosed five and a half years ago thinking I had postpartum depression so I went to a psychiatrist who saw and discovered the bipolarity in me. I realized that I would have this disease my whole life, that I would live with it, that my loved ones would live with it, that my daughter would have to endure a bipolar mother. I had no idea how to raise him, how to do it and we also realized that this bipolarity has lasted since my youth. I was actually diagnosed very late, I had an old family doctor who certainly wasn’t much into psychiatry who put me on Prozac. Oh, she’s a little upset, let’s give her some Prozac ‘, and then I came home with red hair and 3 new piercings and it didn’t shock anyone except my parents so it was kind of complicated.

So I didn’t know I was bipolar when I was pregnant. I had a very calm, very sweet pregnancy.. When I talk to other mothers, they often tell me the same thing, are hormones involved? I don’t know, maybe… If you are also bipolar and want to be a mother or are already a mother, Most importantly, talk to your psychiatrist because there are many drugs that are not recommended for mothers, whether they are breastfeeding or trying to conceive.

Don’t hesitate to talk about it all the time. Accept any help that is offered to you. For example, a nurse can come to your home every day to take care of your medication. And this at the same time will help you a lot when dealing with a newborn. Afterwards, tell yourself that because you are bipolar, it will be difficult to deal with a newborn, but It’s hard for all parentsyou are not different, you are not a different mother, you are just a mother who has a disease, because there are many diseases!

Have you worried that your illness will affect your child’s education?

Pauline: Everyday life is very hard, I can be very irritable, or I can spend whole days in my room in the dark, hanging out in my pyjamas, and that’s not the case for a 5.5-year-old kid. It’s not easy to understand. So we decided to tell him the truth: Mom has a headache. She will be mentally ill all her life. We’ll use the word bipolar when she’s old enough to understand.. The thing is, mom will be hospitalized and mom will be different.

So everyday life is not easy. For this reason I decided against having a second child. But don’t worry, there is no heredity, there are only genes that are triggered or not.

Do you have a message for mothers who are in the same situation as you?

Pauline: If I have a message for you, it is: Do not be afraid. You are a mother or you want to be a mother and you are bipolar, you can live it. I’ve been doing this for 5.5 years and my daughter is doing great. And I, I’m the happiest person in the world with her. So go ahead, don’t worry! »

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