Many parents are afraid when they entrust their child to the grandparents. Today’s practices are by no means the same, and seniors sometimes struggle to implement things they weren’t taught when they became parents themselves. There is that, but also the fact that new parents sometimes have a hard time believing that the ancestors will respect their instructions. This is the case of a young mother who doesn’t trust her in-laws to take care of her two-week-old son.
The in-laws do not respect the instructions
This mom reveals her baby is small on Reddit: “He’s only in the 10th percentile for weight and 70th percentile for height, so his pediatrician said that we need to feed him every three hours at all costs to make him gain weight. Even if it means waking him up.”. When her in-laws came to the house in her husband’s absence so that she could rest, she gladly accepted the doctor’s instructions and passed them on to them. She even prepared the bottle and all her stuff before taking a nap.
“I wake up two hours later and come into the living room to see them chattering to him and all that. At first I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s so cute! What great grandparents!” But I look and see that he only drank 15ml from his bottle of the 75 he was supposed to drink. They told me that “he slept so well” that they didn’t want to wake him up to feed him. Then I hug him and his diaper is dirty! But “he hasn’t cried yet,” so they didn’t change him. They literally sat with him the whole time, not doing what he asked them to do.”, says the shocked young mother. But she doesn’t say anything because she thinks her in-laws are just not used to taking care of a newborn anymore.
The mother-in-law scoffs at the pediatrician’s recommendations
A few days later, the little family goes to their house and his stepfather asks him if he can give the baby his bottle. The mother accepts and he times the bottle. “He tries for 30 seconds and says, ‘He doesn’t want to,’ and tries to give it back to me. […] So I tell him: “No, he has to eat”. I end up taking him and we empty the bottle, but it takes a long time because he falls asleep again and my mother-in-law starts laughing, saying that “I’m fighting for a lost cause” and that she “wouldn’t be so mean.” and wake him up.” When we’re done, she asks me to give him a hug. I tell her I need to switch it first and she says, “Why? How do you know if it’s wet? It doesn’t cry.” But I always check after feeding and of course he had to be changed. So I do and I give it to her and she pisses me off when she says things (I know he’s only about a week old was, but still) like, “Oh, your mom is so mean, isn’t she? She wakes you up to change and makes you cry, She says. If we add a totally inappropriate comment from her mother-in-law about her stretch marks, we can say that the grandparents’ day went really badly.
Anyway, the baby had another appointment with the pediatrician in the following days. The pediatrician notes that the newborn has only gained 28g and tells the parents to continue feeding it every three hours, if possible, by increasing the amount of milk. After the consultation, the young mother receives a call from her mother-in-law to find out how this happened. She shares the specialist’s instructions with him, and the grandmother replies: “I always say don’t wake a sleeping baby. I know I wouldn’t.” While it is true that waking a sleeping infant should generally be avoided, there are special circumstances that make it necessary for feeding.
She doesn’t want her grandparents to keep the baby
“That’s how it all happened and today I get a call from them offering to babysit so me and my husband can have a night together. I reply that I appreciate the offer, but that we decline. My mother-in-law asks me why and I explain that he needs to eat every three hours and I can’t really trust him to be fed or changed his diaper. We won’t wait for him.” He yells to take care of him. She gets upset and says we don’t trust them and I remember what happened the last two times and what I saw made him absolutely not leave my baby alone, hungry and dirty. Apparently I hurt her and questioned her parenting, so I’m wrong. But… am I really wrong?”writes this mom in the forum.
Netizens have realized that she was absolutely right, at least while her baby needs to eat so regularly, not to entrust it to his grandparents, who seem unwilling to respect the doctor’s orders. “The baby’s needs come before the grandmother’s feelings”one of them replies while another remembers: “You’re following the pediatrician’s instructions. You gave your stepmom and stepdad two chances and they showed what they do and don’t do. Also, your stepmom is a real idiot. “The grandmother has made it clear that she will not heed the doctor’s advice. That means you can’t trust her to keep the child.”adds a member of the forum.
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