the struggle of a girl whose mother was drugged by her husband and offered to anonymous people

MAINTENANCE – For almost 10 years he drugged his wife to have her raped by strangers found by accident on a dating site. Today, her daughter, Caroline Darian, recounts the chemical subjugation her mother was subjected to in a book as testimony.

They are over 70 to have raped her. Caroline Darian, an executive in a large corporation, was far from imagining that the worst could happen in the privacy of her family. Then she read The Agreement by Vanessa Springora and has no idea what’s going on under her own roof: her father drugs, rapes and hands her mother over to men recruited online.

After more than forty years of marriage, how did this loving father and (apparently) husband turn out to be a real executioner for his own wife? Caroline Darian has made this sordid story her banner: in her book And I stopped calling you daddy (Éditions JC Lattès) he warns of this incredible kind of violence against women, which “chemical template».

LE FIGARO. – How did you find out that your mother was drugged and raped by your father? He was about sixty years old at the time of the events…

Caroline Darjan. – It was November 2020. My mother called me to say that my father would be imprisoned. Investigators had been examining his computer equipment for two months when he was spotted filming under girls’ skirts in a supermarket. Three women had filed a complaint. But by exploiting his phone and devices, they discovered something far more serious: they found pictures of my mother in particular lying on her bed unconscious, with different men in each picture. I learn at this point that it has been almost ten years since my father chemically subdued my mother in order to abuse her and that others raped her. He had created a forum on a dating site that he “Unknown to him“. There he found these men, who then went to my parents to rape my mother.

Could these men have been identified by investigators?

We know that there are at least 73 of them, that they are between 22 and 71 years old and that they come from all socio-professional categories together. Not all are imprisoned today. My father, he was specifically charged with “administration of harmful substances” and “rape” in aggravating circumstances “of spouse.”

How is your mother today?

She is an upright, dignified woman who does not wish to be seen as vulnerable or fragile. To me that is an example of courage.

The chemical filing and the rapes started in 2013. What was the turning point? What could have triggered this passage to the law?

We don’t know what triggered it and I don’t know if we’ll ever find out. An investigation is ongoing, but it is true that it is destabilizing and troubling. My father did not reflect the image of a pervert. I don’t recognize this person.

How would you describe your father’s personality before those dark times?

I didn’t have an abusive father. He was very present. We were a united family. In society, he showed the image of an exemplary father, present, concerned about his children. He didn’t have an ounce of perversion. The psychiatric experts who analyzed him recently said he showed a tendency towards voyeurism, but for us there were no red flags.

What relationship do you have with your father today?

They are totally nonexistent. My father was quickly arrested and I decided not to contact him. Next time I see my father, it’ll be in front of a jury, for trial.

You were also a victim of your father: pictures of you lying unconscious were found in some of his devices. Do you have doubts about possible rapes?

I was a victim of chemical submission, that’s for sure. On the other hand, I’ll never know the truth, by the way. But it is certain that there is a before and an after.

Could other people in your family have been victims?

All women of the family were photographed. But fortunately we support each other with my sisters-in-law. We all live with this sense of betrayal.

What are the signs that might indicate a person is under Chemical Submission?

In general, the person has recurring absences, he does not necessarily remember what happened the previous day. With my mother, we first thought of Alzheimer’s, or the onset of cancer, a problem of cardiovascular disease… This medical digression is also due to a total ignorance of the subject by health professionals.

How did your mother react when she found out that her husband and hundreds of other men had raped her?

It was a long time before she realized it. Today she avoids thinking about it because otherwise it is unbearable: in addition to the rape, there are 50 years of living together, children and several grandchildren involved. His life has changed completely, you have to be strong to persevere. But I think her body was somehow aware that she was going through a trauma: in eight years she lost ten kilos.

What would you say to someone asking questions and reading these lines?

I would advise this person to speak to a doctor and push open the doors of a police station just to be sure. Then I would advise him to go to the association “La Maison des femmes”, which offers real psychological care with caring people trained to welcome this type of testimony. I would also tell him not to feel guilty and speak up so the shame switches sides.

Why did you feel the need to write and publish this story?

The silence to break a taboo and try to clear the misconception surrounding chemical submissions. Beyond this therapeutic way of writing, I wanted to draw the general public’s attention to this relatively unknown topic. It is important to show that chemical submissions are not limited to students pouring GHB into a drink at a party, but often in the privacy of a family. We’re talking about sleeping pills and anxiolytics that are on hand in the medicine cabinet that everyone has at home. That is why I would like the authorities to carry out a prevention campaign on this issue and raise the issue of controlling the distribution of certain medicines.

SEE ALSO – Did “feminicides” really decrease during lockdown? (04.06.2021)

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