No, a child probably won’t “get used to the arms,” ​​no offense to Aunt Monique

Weighing a child doesn’t sound very dangerous, but like anything in parenting, there are pros and cons. Whoever warns is afraid of an addiction…

When my twins were little babies (they will always be in my heart) I used to rock them a lot, well not at the same time, I’m not Shiva either. Especially one of the two who had colic and cried a lot. Clearly it calmed him by a most wondrous effect.

But I’ve often heard the classic phrase that probably comes to us from another time (or another reality): “You’ll get him used to the arms and he won’t be able to do without them anymore” or the variant: “If you wear it too often, give it bad habits”. Which parents have never heard of this? But no matter how much you do, realizing it’s probably a little absurd, that kind of phrase sticks in the back of your mind and sows doubt.

So it can of course be a great pleasure to carry your baby, but it can also be quite a limitation, the back doesn’t say thank you. But we also do it to soothe the baby or put it to sleep… sometimes we really don’t have a choice. And as the months go by, the little baby grows to weigh as much as a small keg of beer.

Therefore, we asked specialists to find out more about this topic.

The little baby has to be carried and rocked

The newborn baby who until recently was still warm in the womb may be must be includedand the arms are as efficient as one Swaddling… It’s a bit more restrictive of course!

To Caroline Goldman, Child and Adolescent Psychologist, Physician of Clinical Psychopathology, Author of File in your room! Provide your children with educational boundaries,

« Under 9 months you never hold your baby too much, you never kiss him too much, you never cuddle him too much… the baby comes from a womb that has enveloped it for 9 months.

He comes out and we want to let him go, drive him far away from any container? It’s very cruel… and also very unjustified. »

A baby doesn’t get used to arms, it needs arms.

The benefits of rocking

To get him used to guns and create an addiction: that would be a scientific untruth. The baby needs reassurance, emotional security, as Caroline Goldman explains to us:

“The idea of ​​not accustoming a baby to arms by denying them is an utter scientific untruth. Psychologists now know without a doubt that the baby was pampered all the more, rescued and taken away when it asked… the emotionally “safer” he is.

He infused this experience of early life support. On the contrary, babies who cry and are little carried remain insecure, sad and more prone to emotional dependency…”

Héloïse Junier, psychologist and author, is also full of praise for rocking in her book For or against? The great debates of early childhood in the light of scientific knowledge. According to her:

“Rolling can help you sleep better and improve memory. »

only that ! It would also help balance:

“Horseback riding stimulates the child’s vestibular system. This system (located in the inner ear) is responsible for the sense of balance and the perception of the body in space. »

And, of course, rocking brings comfort, well-being and reassurance:

“Such physical proximity between the adult’s body and that of the child promotes the release of oxytocin. This hormone tends to reduce the child’s stress level […] »

So many positives.

© Pexels/Sarah Chai
© Pexels/Sarah Chai

“Need loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo (hugs, kisses, I want all the players)”

Love is very important for the proper development of the baby. It’s a bit cheesy to say, but it’s true.

We now know that physical contact is also essential. This is evident, for example, in the benefits of skin-to-skin treatment in facilities for preterm infants, which are seen as essential care for the baby. Caroline Goldman also tells us:

“At the beginning of a baby’s life there is only love…that parental love expresses itself Exchange of successful sensory experiences where we are weighed (but also kisses, hugs, good nutritious milk, feedings, lukewarm baths, little songs, etc.).

It is also expressed through the experiences of attachments, laughter, awakening of thought, stimulation, etc. »

Parental love gives the baby the basis for emotional security and rocking and cuddling can be one of the signs of this:

“This parental love nourishes the child’s affectivity in a wonderful and necessary way, it will constitute the foundations of emotional security for life.

So swing in complete serenity, play “Kangaroo Parent” to keep your child feeling viscerally, structurally supported and supported forever! »

Don’t rob us if we want to.

A path (sometimes long and complicated) towards autonomy

Gradually, the bird builds its nest, and the baby needs fewer arms and cradles. Some babies only manage to fall asleep when rocked, but knowing how to fall asleep on your own is the result of training.

It is possible Performing rituals and setting up techniques, which will certainly make it possible to achieve this. In the book The sleep of the little childHéloïse Junier presents the wishes of the parents and suggests methods.

No, a child probably won't

The idea is not to force yourself to rock your child. It’s very limiting and it can be exhausting, but rather an indication that you can do this if you wish, without contraindications. The trick of many parents – which has saved me several times – is to put the baby in a carrier, with a sling or baby carrier, and try to go about his business.

Conclusion: rocking is not a drug, The baby will not be dependent. One should not limit oneself if one feels the need for it, for oneself and for him. After that, it shouldn’t be a compulsion. It’s also nice to be in control of these movements and not have to become a muscle man.

Anyway, here’s something to put Aunt Monique in her place when she says she’s been forced into bad habits…


Also read:

Should you let babies cry? We take stock in Park Debates, our new section!

Photo contribution: © Pexels/Sarah Chai

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